Tuesday, July 14, 2009

French Revolution to a Tax Revolution

Hey gang, I bet you all know what today is! Wrong, Nick Evans! It isn't the anniversary of the DVD release of the Dukes of Hazzard movie. It's Bastille Day! For those of you who don't know this is when the unruly French peasants stormed the Bastille, a French prison barracks, and released all the criminals. This uprising by the dusty masses against law and order led to many years of bloodshed and tears for the French people. Kind of like Mets fans feel when Nick Evans whines his way in to the lineup.

Anyway, I bet you wonder why I am telling you about Bastille Day. Well, there's another revolution going on, the revolution to simplify the American tax code. I will tell you right now, this injustice will not stand! People of America, the complexity of our tax code is our heritage. They provide jobs for the hard working folks at H & R Block and provide a challenge for me, "The Taxman" Dan Murphy. Besides, much like the infield fly rule, if you understand its intricacies or can afford someone who does, well it means big cash savings. In the end revolution leads to nothing but pain, support your government, support the IRS and above all, don't forget to save your receipts!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Spending Time On The DL? Time To Itemize

Hey gang! No ballplayer likes to spend time on the disabled list. Just like most people don't care to spend time in the doctor's office. But did you know that if you've decided to itemize your deductions on your tax bill, you can deduct medical expenses that exceed 7.5% of your adusted gross income. For many people, that can mean thousands of dollars back in your pocket. Or if you're Nick Evans, hundreds of dollars. So when you're itemizing those deductions, don't forget all those trips to see the "doc." Just another tax tip from me! The Taxman, Dan Murphy. And as always, don't forget to save those receipts!

Friday, July 10, 2009

How To "Safely" Get Your Refund

Hey gang! Everyone knows, when you're playing baseball, its always better to be "safe" than "out." And when getting your tax refund, there is no "safer" way to make sure that hard earned money comes back to you than by having it directly deposited into your bank account. The IRS can send out refunds through direct deposit faster than mailing you a check. Certainly faster than Nick Evans trying to get from first to third on a hit-and-run. So don't be called "out." Make sure you sign up for direct deposit refund when filling out your tax forms. And be sure to spend some of that refund on a Mets ticket, so you can see me! The Taxman, Dan Murphy. And as always, don't forget to save those receipts!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

It's All About The Team

Hey gang! When you're part of a team like I am, you always want to be looking out for one another. And families need to start looking at each other as one big "team." But these days, its most likely that many of you have a relative who might be "struggling" with debt or being out of work. Remember to extend some generousity to those "team" members by claiming that relative as your tax-return dependent. By doing so, you can bag a personal exemption deduction, which this year was worth over 36-hundred dollars, or about as much as Nick Evans made in Triple-A earlier this year. Just remember to use that return money to take that "team member" out to Citi Field to see me! "The Taxman" Dan Murphy. And as always, don't forget to save those receipts!

The Early Bird Hits For The Cycle

Hey gang! Did you know that while the deadline to file your personal taxes is April 15th, that you can file as early as January 1st! Just remember, if you file during the quiet season you'll get your refund all the sooner. Just use those dollars you've saved to come out to Citi Field and see me, "The Taxman" Dan Murphy.*

*If I'm playing that night, you might see that irresponsible nogoodnik*, Nick "The Stick" Evans.

*Pun intended, thank you.